I reassured him that I was having a good time with him, and that I would appreciate the company because I'd be up late anyway. I told him I hated drinking alone. He seemed to be happy with my answer and told me that he would stay until I told him to go home. I wanted to see just how much I could turn this man on before he would make a pass at me, and if he would actually make a pass at me. I uncrossed my legs and during about 4 or 5 minutes slowly spread them wider and wider until I was sure. I just laid there on my knees, head on the floor, crying and sobbing. I lost track of time as I tried to think about how happy life was back at the grove. I had a vague awareness of Ardy's penis thrusting in and out of me, and my face rubbing against the floor as he violently humped me for many minutes. I was trying to remember Ronak's beautiful face. It was getting harder every day to see him clearly in my mind.I was shocked back to reality by Ardys shrill scream, as he again started shooting. Walking I could not help it, I was thinking of tomorrow, thinking of following the kids down there again, to watch, to masturbate as I watched. I caught myself in my sinful desires and went straight to Chapel. I knelt and prayed, I prayed right through supper and was still praying when Vespers started. My desires that I had, I knew were wrong for the life I had chosen. And I knew that I would have this battle in me for a long, long time. How many other Nuns felt this way? Who could I talk to?. Me: you are free now and you are leading an independent life.Anushka: You mean I have no problem and I am leading a comfortable life.Me: What is not there with you.You have a decent job, good earning, you have nice house and what else youwant.Anushka: you are really a waste .Me: WhyAnushka: What a women needs apart from all this.Me: What Sex?Anushka: That was rude?Me: Why?Anushka: how you can tell openly to me that I miss sex?Me: I realised that is what you miss?Anushka: is sex only every.
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