Very Fun

My deepest fear was realized time and again…no one wanted me, for any amount of time. I always fucked up and they always walked away. There was an empty bottle of wine that lay shattered against the locked door. I didn’t know why I had locked it. No one would be coming to see me, to save me. This was my own personal hell, created for and by me. This is where I would live, the monstrosity of pain that I had built on trying to be what no one really wanted. I had not eaten for days. The hunger. She said that God is in all of us. Cathy said that if we show ourselves to them, they will see God and we will see Him, too. I try to look at them the way Cathy does, but sometimes it’s just too hard and I do like Terry and look at everything and see nothing. I feel so uncomfortable, so confused. All I can do is lean over the back of Mike’s chair and make him promises of all the neat things we’ll do together when he comes home again. But Mike doesn’t answer. Mike doesn’t say a word. He just. It all feels really goodusually by that time, the sensations are pretty intensehard for me to differentiate too muchhard to control myself at that pointMe: so you only notice one thing at a time?like when I’m fucking you, you don't notice if I start licking your nipples?Thu: oh nodef better with more stimulationwhy i like your tongue and your finger in me at same timeMe: what about when I was rubbing your clit with my finger while I was fucking you from behind?Thu: that i can't feel too muchI. Abhi dard hona baki hai.Aarti – Main nahi seh sakti. Nikaliye nahi to main mar jaungi.Par main kaha manne wala tha. Mujhe to isi mein maza aata hai. Main dheere dheere karke pura lund ghusa diya. Aarti ka gand itna tight tha ki mera lund bhi thoda chhil sa gaya tha. Aarti chilla chilla kar roye jaa rahi thi aur hath pair patak rahi thi.Doggy style mein chodne ka ye fayda hota hai ki pura control mere pas tha. Toh Aarti kitna bhi kuch kare, main uski gand mare jaa raha tha. Par jyada der nahi.
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