“Yeah,” I admitted ... and Rick laughed in my ear. I put him on speaker and sat the phone down.She read down the site that had popped up over the past couple of days. There were pictures of me and Liz (of course) but also some of me by myself. Someone had scanned a minor league baseball card and posted it. The kids from San Diego had offered a testimonial.“Read the one from ToledoMom,” Liz said, reaching over to pinch my cheek.“Oh, too fucking cool!” Jill said brightly. She shifted into the. Doc claimed I should try it once, just to see how it felt...even wrote a prescription for me so I could try it out. (I bet the company he sent me to pays him to do that...)So it comes in the mail one day in a box as unassuming as a cell phone box. I open it up: the toy itself is unassuming in size, a little smaller than my hand. Its biggest part was at the top, and it had a handle that stimulated the area between your balls and ass and kept it from falling out. It's smaller than my man by far,. ‘Well,’ he continued stammering for words, ‘I hope you feel as close to me as I do to you. I don’t know what my life would be without you Amanda. Did you come home for me?’ I didn’t really know what to say. But I was so nervous and frustrated at the same time I knew I had to say something. I thought it would be better if I just ripped the band-aid off all at once just to get it over with. ‘So here goes.’ I thought to myself. ‘Steve, for the past year or so that I was away I found myself. I tried to grab one of them but got the hell smacked out of my hand. I tried it again and they punched my face so I figured they wanted me to wait patiently. I heard them run away, pushed the dead bastard off my lap, yanked the hood off my head and quickly took the tape off my legs and feet.I grabbed the bastard's AK, slowly slipped out the door and saw a taxi. I ran to the taxi and saw the driver was unconscious in the back seat. I sure as hell wasn't going to look this gift horse in the mouth.
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