. What’s theproblem?”Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stungon her thigh by a hornet and now her vagina has completely closed up!”Australian Telephone Operator: “Bummer!”Customer: “Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie. “Tie me up,” she purred, “and you can do anything you want.” So he tied her up and went golfing.A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and raninto the. These were small and fast moving, yet they didn't have the same kind of signature as either of the missiles that had been fired at me already. Suspecting armed drones or something of that kind of threat, I activated my air-to-air defences and prepared myself for a fight.I got the air-to-surface missile away before I had to deal with the two incoming bogies. I launched at forty miles out and watched as the missile spat out from under the Sparrow Hawk and then streaked away from my craft going. But even though I won’t masturbate, I’ll hold myself and enjoy the feeling until the alarm clock makes me get up. Stirring, you move over against me, your butt pushing up against me. I turned to face you, our bodies spoon together, your butt against my crotch, my arm wrapped around you. Your hair tie lies useless on the bed. I don’t know why you always use it, it never stays in. Your hair spills over your pillow, tickling my nose, filling me with your scent. The aroma of yesterday’s Euphoria. My prick swelled inside her knickers as I traced around my eyes with the eyeliner pencil. All I needed now was shoes. And sure enough, there at the bottom of her wardrobe was a pair of hot pink ankle-length boots which matched her underwear nicely. A quick spritz of perfume, and I felt as feminine as I could be. And of course my straining cock reminded me how horny I was. I lay on the bed and began running my hands over my body. My eyes closed as I imagined my girlfriend’s fingers teasing me.
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