”He didn’t know exactly what she meant. Did she mean that she hadn’t been with a man since the rape or that a man hadn’t been able to give her an orgasm since the rape? Regardless of which answer was correct, the news shocked Ed as he realized that it had to be at least sixteen years since she had been raped on the campus. In as soothing of a voice as he could manage, Ed replied, “I don’t know what to say.”Hesitating, she smiled at him and said, “It’s not your fault that I can’t be satisfied in. A lot of girls were mad about the things Isaid, but I'm not here to apologize for it. I think everything I saidwas true, and I know, because I just love to dress up and be a prettylittle sissy named Prissy! I hate wearing ugly boys clothes, and can'twait for every chance to wear darling clothes, like this adorable dress,and do all of the things I talked about today at school, like play dressup, and house with my dollies, go shopping, and try to look my prettiestfor the boys. But wearing pretty. ..At first I didn't want to believe him, then I felt a little sick and then on the way there I fought a continual internal struggle between wanting to serve him and fulfill this fantasy for him and wanting to stand still and just refuse to go there. I know that he has the right to share me with whoever he chooses. I know it but I was still unprepared for it. When we got to the hotel and checked in I knew it was for real. My pulse was racing. In the sauna I tried to relax and remind myself it's. " Well Doug is happily married now, so let's just pretend it was another hot co-ed, and forget I even mentioned it."I'm not sure if the facial expression was embarrassment from the topic or maybe she remembered Doug or another random guy she hooked up with in college. He was getting over his parents death, and I remember that the girl he was with liked it hard, deep, and all night long. She helped him get out some of his frustrations.Beth finally stopped me, and turned the subject back to work..
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