“Whoa, I was hoping to surprise you,” she said, not unkindly.“Fuck it! I’ve had quite enough of your surprises and you being here, I mean here, is humiliating,” I said, “I mean humiliating! So get the fuck outta here and go have your caviar lunch and a couple of martinis with your rich pals. I ain’t up to your standards.”“Oh Jimmy, I’m not here to make things hard for you, really I’m not,” she said. “But, I’ve missed you, both of us have and I need to talk to you. It’s important.”“What, you. I told her how I wanted to earn the money and she had a suggestion for me.She agreed that is was a good and fun way to earn some extra cash. She said that she knew someone who could set up special parties for a small percentage of the fee and asked me how many men did I want to take on? I figured 5 was a good number to start with. So it was a poker party that he set up and I was to be the party favor. The fee was $500 and I got $350 For 3-4 hours. I dressed up in a sexy low plunging tight. I was supportive. We stayed up, and we talked, and we hugged. I held back and held back and held back, until I actually started to feel dizzy. We hadn't held each other like this since my confession, and I was going insane just keeping myself from crying. Because I knew then that I could never have him. Ever.He'd explained to me that he was going to go all the way; take hormones, have voice lessons, electrolysis, the whole lot. He was, he said, going to have surgery.For a moment I'd entertained. You remember that. It's his company after all. You've had lots of great times together holidays and vacations, birthdays, weddings and even have a (respectful) good time at funerals. You were everyone's go to guys to invite to their parties. You share pretty much everything but the law between you is that girls and relationships are sacred and neither of you would interfere unless the other is clearly being harmed in any way. You discussed this over many a beer and knew you'd watch each other's.
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