I poured the tin cup full and set the bread on the table. I poured the basin on the washstand full and went back up the stairs. I was soon back carrying a bucket with a tight fitting lid. Eve was choking down the last of the bread. The cup was empty. I refilled the cup. I told her the bucket was her toilet and she must keep the lid on it when not in use. She nodded her understanding. I told her she was filthy and should use the wash stand. I also told her she would make every effort to. Leading me to wonder sometimes whether or notI truly am 'Stephanie' instead of 'Steve'. Even as the crowd scream withexcitement, a niggling voice in the back of my mind won't stop tellingme that maybe I don't deserve all the love I get from the fans.Sometimes, I even wonder whether or not I'm actually taking oestrogen atall instead of a placebo- and I have wondered more than once what wouldhappen if I just stopped taking the hormones altogether. It's not like Ireally needed them when I joined. She turned to the third young trooper, “can you all see what’s not quite right here boys?” She again put her hands on the soldiers shiny lycra clad hips and turned him around. “Here’s the problem this crease in his tights.” She pointed to a crease under his buttocks and again ran her finger along it making the youngster flinch slightly. “His tights aren’t tight enough, they should be like a second skin and not creased, Emma turn around and show the boys your lycra covered bottom!” Emma duly. What was going on? He pulled his sword and sheath offof his belt and placed them on the table, then grabbed a suitcase fromthe kitchen closet. What was going on?"Dad?" I asked, stepping away from the stairs.He grabbed me by the shoulders. "Cres, go wake your sister up, we haveto leavenow." Why?" Don't question me, Cres, we just need to go!"Dad didn't yell at me often. In fact, this was only the second time inmy life that hehad yelled at me. The first had been when I touched hissword the first.
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