It must also be saidthat they bore no comparison with the lurid couplingsone read in books and friends boasted about. So as Iapproached my 20th birthday the missionary position ina darkened room was the limit of my experience. So ontoAunty Elsie.Aunty Elsie was my grandmother’s cousin and at the timethis all took place was a sprightly 71 and also theblack sheep of the family. By this time she had beenmarried 4 times and was known to be a “bit of a girl”as Gran would often. Marie was stocky but dressed fashionably."Hello, sorry you had to wait on me," said Helen as she exited her car.The couple said their hellos. "No, really, Hal's not happy unless he's very early to an appointment," said Marie. "Helen, this is our son, Frederick." She gestured to the third Thompson in their midst.Helen smiled at Frederick. He looked as if he was old enough to be in college, plus he was dressed about a preppie as you could get. He was wearing madras shorts with a matching, solid. After a moment, I lowered my head theatrically, tossed my cards to the center of the table, and yelled "Fuck!"The guys went wild. They yelled. They insulted me. They insulted Jake. They laughed.After a while, when the general madness calmed down enough, I heard one last comment.In his deep voice, Steve said "...and I've seen Jake at the gym, man. You gonna have your fuckin mouth full!" and the guys went wild again.I protested. I put my hands up in front of me. "Come on man - Fuck this! You know. " Mom said, "No Herb, you're the one that's sick." Dad sneered at her, "How about it Angie, if next time, I just jam it in your mouth and cum down your throat. I bet you'd like that wouldn't you. It would remind you of your whoring days as a first class cocksucker." Mom sneered back, "You'll be sorry if you ever try that you bastard because I'll bite the damn thing off." Shorty was right. I was the best damn cocksucker in town, but you will never know it asshole because it'll be the same cold.
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