. our boat ... to Amsterdam, hired a long term berth in a marina and by canal boat excursion to Saarbrücken. It was an interesting trip ... War going on and all that.From there we bussed to Baumholder ... we Knew that was on the rally route. We were directed, met up with the lorry and registered.We were already signed up ... but this is Germany and All Must Be In Order. At headquarters we were inspected ... everything ... the lorry, the car, the seats, the suits, the harnesses, us .... I'm pleased with myself. I must be working out! This is the result! She says, "I didn't know you had it in you."I smile. I look down. I've inadvertently been grinding my fingers in the mortar. From the mid-joints in they've been reduced to...mush. I feel no pain. I wonder how this will make the drinks taste. My ex, I discover, is covered in ash. Soot. There's a break however between the bulgy flesh below her navel and her dark triangular bush. I finger her in the kitchen. She's wet. Her wetness. My cell phone glued against my ear until it was too hot to hold against there, only then giving it a momentary cooling off period. Maybe it was the mountain air, or maybe I was having a breakdown but after a particularly frustrating call I yanked the phone cord out of the cigarette lighter with a vicious tug and tossed it over my shoulder into the back seat. ‘Enough!’ I just wanted to be alone lost to the world that kept me so tethered, I was so frustrated as I had been for months. This was the. So far you have just meditated upon me, now you’re to become totally mine.This did scare me a little so far in life I just fantasised all this now it was for real, but I could not escape nor did I want too. So before me was an out I was to wear when I was here at what Miss called my new ‘home’ though not for a long while actually live there. There was a pile of black and a pile of white knickers not the frilly kind but I would say functional.Stockings and suspenders and a couple of blouses.
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